Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
