Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
