Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
