he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
