this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
