Sober January is a disaster.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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