im having a threesome with these popsicles
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You don't make any sense
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