Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
