sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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