do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
