hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
