Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
