38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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