I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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