So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize