I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
