I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do vagina's smell?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
