I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
