Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
