white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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