They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
