the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
