Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
