I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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