so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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