Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
