ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
