But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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