I am in a vortex of obligation.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just gift wrapped bread.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
