Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize