She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
