He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We're too hungover to prance.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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