my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
