The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize