While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
