I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
