just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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