I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
