I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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