Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
