Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
