Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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