I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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