Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
