Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize