im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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