dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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