I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
