somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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