I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
