Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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