No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
