is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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