Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
