please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
