I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
