please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
