After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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