I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This house was built for laser tag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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