He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
