we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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