I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
