Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
