i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
